海枯石烂。

繁忙之中有时候也会不仅停下来想想些事。

我们何尝没希望在身边的人和事物都能海枯石烂，但事实是其实真的很不简单。
虽然，真的很遗憾很多人与事物都改变了，但其实想想自己很傻。很多东西都不在我们的控制范围所内，但为何我们却要有控制变化的权力呢？以前，我还不明白，但这几天，在繁忙的生活中才渐渐明白。我们希望能控制变化的权力是因为有些事，我们很不希望看到改变，很多事都希望能海枯石烂。

但渐渐我也想通了。有的人和事物就如一场梦。注定好只会在你的生活中那一小小的部分，但闹钟响起的那一分种，一切都会改变。我学会了：事物会改变是难免的，一年四季，周围的环境一定会变。人要走，就让他们走。因为他们已完成了在你所谓的那一场梦的任务，做完了就得走。
这并不是在逃避现实，只是要懂得学会接受这世界并不会因为你的傻傻的梦而海枯石烂。

其实，这真的需要很大的勇气。
我没那份勇气，只好迫不得告诉自己再也不能期待着＂海枯石烂＂。

老朋友.

没想到，在期待之中，也会带来出乎预料的疑问。

收到了一件来自很远的地方的邮包。邮包上写的并不是自己的全名，但是一个很熟悉的名字。是一位好朋友寄来的包包，一个好久不见的老朋友，也是一个很希望能再碰到的一个朋友。
邮包里的东西，让我看了很温馨，很快乐，有一种很特别的喜悦，但不知为何喜悦中也带来一点点的伤感。我拨了一通电话给这个老朋友，只想真诚地说声谢谢。虽谈话中没说了几句，但不只为何有一点点怪怪的，可能是真的好久不见了。我曾说过，自从离开那地方，我也预料事事会改变。但出乎我预料，我们变得更好的朋友。我不知如何形容这友情但很谢谢老朋友，在我感到很无助时给予我希望，也带给我快乐。

我和老朋友是同一类的人，我不喜欢别人给予我快乐，但却很希望能给与他人快乐。就因为这样， 从上个月订好了的机票，到今日，仍然还在想如何去给予这老朋友一点快乐。虽从一开始，对自己没信心，置疑自己是否能再次回到从前，是否回去了会再次不想离去。但渐渐才发现到自己应该有勇气面对一切。只是到了如今，才发现原来我还不确定。

我突然很不知所措。 

What's really worthy.

"We never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it’s also important to remember that, amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to."
-Grey's.

'Cause sometimes in life, it's not just able telling yourself you'll move on. You thought you would have, amid all the busy crap in your life, put behind everything and start afresh, telling yourself what used to be will never be the same again, and that you need to let them out of your life. But when you pause for a moment, take a breather and think about it, it seems as though you've never moved an inch. Or in fact, not that it seems, it's reality that you're still stuck in the first step.

I've come to learn that some things, though once lost, can never be the same again, but yet somehow or rather, these things stay with you forever, they are things that are worth holding on to and worth remembering. It's not your fault that you refused to let yourself move on, but it's because some things are meant to be in your life for some time, maybe forever. And you'll know it's not the right time just yet, when you start to fear everytime those memories start to fade, and you tell yourself you wanna be reminded again. For that simple reason, it's because it means alot to you.

And it is to memories of Adelaide, Baba, BrownBrown, my late Grandma and Pinag, that I dedicate this post to.

Sometimes, all you need is just a lil' faith.

Just that tweeny lil' bit, to last you all the day.

"‎"Some days, the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably, and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again."

-Grey's Anatomy.

it's been almost half a year. I haven't been going through smooth rides lately since I came over, or rather, it has always been a bumpy one. I hated this place, and I still do, very much. I don't strive in this environment where things are so unfavourable for me, where you still tell yourself you wished you were better before, and that the people here can never ever be comparable to those of yesterdays.

But what used to be, will always be used to be.
and you just need to tell yourself, there's no more looking back.
I was on the verge of giving up hope on everything, giving up on the next 5 years, but yesterday, something made me find back the hope that I once lost, and I'm glad I did. Though the road ahead will be tough and rocky, it's time to be brave and face the rhythm of the wind, because even if one day, I failed to succeed, at the very least, I tried.

There have been alot of things bothering me lately, and there are some which I can't sort out. It seems like everything is entangled deep down and sometimes I just hope someone would entangle them for me. Sleepless nights over and over again, never ending, but yet, admidst all these, I find a lil tinge of hope, a sense of hope to look forward to something that is about to happen.

Maybe that's what keeping me awake, because every time I think about it, I'll smile to myself.
 

回不到从前。